My last day of teaching regularly was yesterday, a fact that is both exciting and sad. I've grown to really enjoy my intermediate class, there are definitely some amusing and eclectic personalities therein. But with grad school looming, I needed to clear my schedule as much as possible so that I can try to get in and get out of masters land.
That said, my last class was certainly a blast. We ate breakfast at Denny's (right around the corner from school). I was skeptical about such a field trip, but they totally loved the typical American experience therein. Also the fact that things were so BIG (it is America after all). Someone tried to drink the syrup like a shot, but didn't get far at all. I like how in a more causal context they start asking more personal questions both of me and each other. Grand Slams eaten, pictures taken by our good-natured waiter, we left behind empty plates and cups that were swiftly taken away.
A short stroll around Yerba Buena park had them taking tons and tons of photos in paparazzi gone wild style. I like that my classes like each other, it's nice to welcome in new members into a community that's willing to grow for them. Back at school, I gave them a short break before reconvening class. A couple were late, though, because they'd gone and gotten me a cake! It said "Beathany Good Luck We Love You" - so sweet! They'd also gotten a card that was furtively passed around and signed. One of my Korean students had her awesome mini-Polaroid camera and documented the cake, our breakfast, and my silly reaction :) I felt very loved. And very full of sugar with my black forest cake love and all. My colleagues seemed sad that I won't be there regularly, though I will keep subbing since my classes this semester don't happen in the mornings.
All in all, a very good day. One that makes me glad I've been teaching. I also have invites to Rome and Barcelona, Japan and Korea, so perhaps I'll be trying to get overseas and take people up on those. Time to renew that passport!
Showing posts with label ESL episodes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESL episodes. Show all posts
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
English Episodes #15 - The Land of Intermediate
From advanced to intermediate - the range of English is so broad! I've been teaching an intermediate class now for a few weeks, which has proven somewhat entertaining as we all get to know each other better. I find a sly humor and childlike glee in their scatological humor because they're excited to get puns, even bad ones.
Speaking of bad puns - did you hear about the accident in the pie factory? 3.1415926 people were killed. Colleague told this joke this morning - the groans were loud.
We took a field trip to the market yesterday. They attempted to find apples (not really in season), discover new foods (doughnut peaches, tiny cucumbers, bizarre giant squash), and map out the area of Civic Center. We went inside City Hall to explore some more and happened upon a wedding! Looking at a statue of Harvey Milk, a justice of the peace asked us to move as there was going to be a wedding. It was just the couple and another (friend? brother? other family? hard to tell), we all loosely gathered around and watched. My students were curious (and concerned): where were their families? Is this common? Don't you need two witnesses? We all clapped and said congratulations when it was over. I love unexpected surprises on excursions!
Today someone told the class that a qualification you need to be a rock star is to have good looks and be a womanizer... where even to begin on that one? I did point out that it doesn't have to be that way, particularly if the rock star in question is a woman who likes men.
On the other hand, one of my new students loves Jane Austen. Another is a professional chef. We definitely have things to talk about. Entertainment abounds! Stay tuned for excepts from stories about someone getting a new job we wrote today (I love circle writing activities): I may have added zombies, vampires, and aliens to a few, but why not?
Speaking of bad puns - did you hear about the accident in the pie factory? 3.1415926 people were killed. Colleague told this joke this morning - the groans were loud.
We took a field trip to the market yesterday. They attempted to find apples (not really in season), discover new foods (doughnut peaches, tiny cucumbers, bizarre giant squash), and map out the area of Civic Center. We went inside City Hall to explore some more and happened upon a wedding! Looking at a statue of Harvey Milk, a justice of the peace asked us to move as there was going to be a wedding. It was just the couple and another (friend? brother? other family? hard to tell), we all loosely gathered around and watched. My students were curious (and concerned): where were their families? Is this common? Don't you need two witnesses? We all clapped and said congratulations when it was over. I love unexpected surprises on excursions!
Today someone told the class that a qualification you need to be a rock star is to have good looks and be a womanizer... where even to begin on that one? I did point out that it doesn't have to be that way, particularly if the rock star in question is a woman who likes men.
On the other hand, one of my new students loves Jane Austen. Another is a professional chef. We definitely have things to talk about. Entertainment abounds! Stay tuned for excepts from stories about someone getting a new job we wrote today (I love circle writing activities): I may have added zombies, vampires, and aliens to a few, but why not?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
English Episodes #14 - Final CAE fun
Some amusing incidents from the last few weeks of my CAE course:
- Playing Taboo: big chimpanzee to gorilla to Godzilla. What?
- I gave my students chopsticks for good luck before their exam. When we all went for Japanese food a few weeks ago everyone not from Asia had been excited to perfect their skills. My Korean students told me that it's a Korean tradition to give a small gift before an exam, like chopsticks. So culturally savvy I am!
- Shocking class with my new, short haircut. "It looks like you!" says a student. (I hope so).
- Some students are describing a picture of a wizard with a "magic stick." I explain that this is a significantly different item than a magic wand, which is what is in fact pictured.
- "I fly with my private jet."
Saturday, June 18, 2011
English Episodes #13 - The End of CAE
June is a great month (and not just because it's my birthday!). I've successfully completed teaching my Cambridge CAE class; students did written exam on Wednesday, speaking test on Thursday. They were a great bunch and really bonded in what seems like a meaningful way. We had lots of fun at the end, playing silly games (one learned that Charlie Sheen is known for cocaine use - shocker, right?!?) and generally trying to not stress about the looming exam. I had them over to my house for class on Friday and everyone brought food from their country, a mix of Korean and Swiss starches it was with noodle and bread-based mains, pudding cake and my world-famous chocolate chip cookies for dessert.
The funniest part? When one came in with a 18 pack of Budweiser - I can't remember the last time I saw anyone drinking such a thing.
It's a weekend of birthdays, so popping around to parties around the city. Mine will be Sunday since Monday isn't an ideal party day... Impressed because I actually already have the supplies on hand. Plus a long RSVP'd list. Tres exciting!
The funniest part? When one came in with a 18 pack of Budweiser - I can't remember the last time I saw anyone drinking such a thing.
It's a weekend of birthdays, so popping around to parties around the city. Mine will be Sunday since Monday isn't an ideal party day... Impressed because I actually already have the supplies on hand. Plus a long RSVP'd list. Tres exciting!
Friday, May 20, 2011
English Episodes #12 - Who Would Win?
Yes, I've become mired in the mixed joy that is teaching CAE Cambridge exam course. We've just finished week 8 of 12 - whew! Some funny things for your Friday afternoon...
Today ended class playing the game Who Would Win? The idea is to come up with convincing arguments about what famous person would win in some shared activity, like Mick Jagger vs Martha Stewart in Hairdressing. I modified the original rules a bit so 2 students would argue for a minute, each one supporting the card they had drawn, and then the rest of the group votes on whose explanation is better. The person with most points wins; here are some examples of the pairs that occurred:
I know that I've been not updating as frequently as some of you would like; my freelance writing work has really picked up and is eating up most hours that I spend in front of the computer, for which I am sorry. Please bear with me! And think about what other ridiculous pairings you can come up with for your own version of Who Would Win?
Today ended class playing the game Who Would Win? The idea is to come up with convincing arguments about what famous person would win in some shared activity, like Mick Jagger vs Martha Stewart in Hairdressing. I modified the original rules a bit so 2 students would argue for a minute, each one supporting the card they had drawn, and then the rest of the group votes on whose explanation is better. The person with most points wins; here are some examples of the pairs that occurred:
- Britney Spears vs Cleopatra in video gaming
- Karl Marx vs Christopher Columbus in weightlifting
- Madonna vs Lance Armstrong in swordfighting
- Da Vinci vs Caesar in wargames
- King Kong vs Pope John Paul II in tennis
I know that I've been not updating as frequently as some of you would like; my freelance writing work has really picked up and is eating up most hours that I spend in front of the computer, for which I am sorry. Please bear with me! And think about what other ridiculous pairings you can come up with for your own version of Who Would Win?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
English Episodes #11 - A new chapter begins
I finished up with my pre-intermediate class late March so that I could start teaching a Cambridge Advanced Exam prep course (think a harder TOEFL test). I was so sad to see my group go; they've really made a great community (as well as a quite amusing one). That said, I had about a 1/3 of my class leave that last Friday as well, so it was a fitting time to close that chapter.
But the funny bits from the vault!
We learned that one of our cohort had to get reconstructive surgery on his nose twice after it was messed up in a fight with his friend. He'd called it plastic surgery, but we learned nuance of the two types (Note: These are folks that have a hard time talking about past events with nuance but they totally get the difference between elective and non-elective surgery). Anyway, it fit into our discussion of medical vocab, what to say at the doctor, etc. This guy explained that they had to take cartilage out of his ear to put into his nose and now the tip of his nose is hard, not squishy.
Imagine a classroom of folks all pushing on the tips of their noses at the same time.
It gets funnier.
As we're pondering these facts, another pipes up: "So, can you use your cellphone like this?" He puts his hand in front of his nose and mouth, the speaker being next to the nose. Laughter begins but escalates when our surgery recipient agrees and says: "Yes! And I put my earphones here" pointing to his nostrils.
We all lost it. It was a great ending class with lots of photos, a few tears. We also did a fun writing exercise that I post excerpts from later.
Last Friday I ran into one of my former students after class who started to cry on me and gave me a hug. She said that I was the best English teacher she'd ever had, that we'd learned so much more than just speaking. It moved me more than I can truly say - she's so sweet and was so obviously emotional in a way I'd not expected at all. We took photos together after she'd wiped her tears and promised to see each other soon "on the Internet."
I only friend my students on the book of face after they are my students. It's easier that way.
But the funny bits from the vault!
We learned that one of our cohort had to get reconstructive surgery on his nose twice after it was messed up in a fight with his friend. He'd called it plastic surgery, but we learned nuance of the two types (Note: These are folks that have a hard time talking about past events with nuance but they totally get the difference between elective and non-elective surgery). Anyway, it fit into our discussion of medical vocab, what to say at the doctor, etc. This guy explained that they had to take cartilage out of his ear to put into his nose and now the tip of his nose is hard, not squishy.
Imagine a classroom of folks all pushing on the tips of their noses at the same time.
It gets funnier.
As we're pondering these facts, another pipes up: "So, can you use your cellphone like this?" He puts his hand in front of his nose and mouth, the speaker being next to the nose. Laughter begins but escalates when our surgery recipient agrees and says: "Yes! And I put my earphones here" pointing to his nostrils.
We all lost it. It was a great ending class with lots of photos, a few tears. We also did a fun writing exercise that I post excerpts from later.
Last Friday I ran into one of my former students after class who started to cry on me and gave me a hug. She said that I was the best English teacher she'd ever had, that we'd learned so much more than just speaking. It moved me more than I can truly say - she's so sweet and was so obviously emotional in a way I'd not expected at all. We took photos together after she'd wiped her tears and promised to see each other soon "on the Internet."
I only friend my students on the book of face after they are my students. It's easier that way.
Friday, February 25, 2011
English Episodes #10 - the fun continues
The classroom antics never stop!
My class did charades to practice present continuous. After doing a big round, they made up some sentences that the other team had to act out and guess the exact sentence. These included:
"I'm running in Golden Gate Park."
"We are looking for a girlfriend."
"They're talking about movies."
"I'm waiting for Obama."
"We are losing our head."
"You are fighting with a pig."
"I'm thinking about my job."
"I'm speaking in France."
"We're running the Marathon in New York."
"She's riding crazy sheep."
"They're watching a adult video." (I had to explain more what this meant afterwards...)
"I'm riding a horse."
"He's surfing on the ocean."
"You're making a sandwich in the kitchen."
"She's fighting her friends."
"He's watching the movie 'Titanic'."
Earlier one of the clues was "eating turkey." The mimer pointed to the student who is from Turkey and everyone instantly guessed. Incredible.
"Baking bread" the mimer grabs my arm and goes as if to bite it. Ummm, what? Turns out he confused biting with baking. Whoops.
My drawing is very, ummm, modern at times. This causes endless amusement. I draw a whale, they say "a flower?" I draw a parrot, they say "a penguin?"
Student: "What's the word - they are married and go on vacation?"
Me: "Honeymoon."
"In 10 years we are going to use fly car. In 50 years we are going to teleport and digital glasses. In 100 years we are going to live in Outer Space in the moon. Housekeepers and pets are robots machines."
"In 100 years we're going to communicate with external world people (alien) by new language. In 100 years we're going to read your thoughts."
"It's a very important man."
"God?"
"My facebook [name] is Handsome Guy. Brad Pitt."
[. . .]
"You're 23? Not 15?"
"Hair? I don't understand. I don't have."
Message vs massage. I explain there's quite a difference between the two...
"Long time you sit... Very big ass."
They write down the name of someone famous and then become that person for a party. It includes 2 Obamas, 2 Brad Pitts, Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé, Einstein, David Beckham, JFK, John Lennon... I stop the exercise by saying the police have shown up, so the party is shut down.
My class did charades to practice present continuous. After doing a big round, they made up some sentences that the other team had to act out and guess the exact sentence. These included:
"I'm running in Golden Gate Park."
"We are looking for a girlfriend."
"They're talking about movies."
"I'm waiting for Obama."
"We are losing our head."
"You are fighting with a pig."
"I'm thinking about my job."
"I'm speaking in France."
"We're running the Marathon in New York."
"She's riding crazy sheep."
"They're watching a adult video." (I had to explain more what this meant afterwards...)
"I'm riding a horse."
"He's surfing on the ocean."
"You're making a sandwich in the kitchen."
"She's fighting her friends."
"He's watching the movie 'Titanic'."
Earlier one of the clues was "eating turkey." The mimer pointed to the student who is from Turkey and everyone instantly guessed. Incredible.
"Baking bread" the mimer grabs my arm and goes as if to bite it. Ummm, what? Turns out he confused biting with baking. Whoops.
My drawing is very, ummm, modern at times. This causes endless amusement. I draw a whale, they say "a flower?" I draw a parrot, they say "a penguin?"
Student: "What's the word - they are married and go on vacation?"
Me: "Honeymoon."
"In 10 years we are going to use fly car. In 50 years we are going to teleport and digital glasses. In 100 years we are going to live in Outer Space in the moon. Housekeepers and pets are robots machines."
"In 100 years we're going to communicate with external world people (alien) by new language. In 100 years we're going to read your thoughts."
"It's a very important man."
"God?"
"My facebook [name] is Handsome Guy. Brad Pitt."
[. . .]
"You're 23? Not 15?"
"Hair? I don't understand. I don't have."
Message vs massage. I explain there's quite a difference between the two...
"Long time you sit... Very big ass."
They write down the name of someone famous and then become that person for a party. It includes 2 Obamas, 2 Brad Pitts, Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé, Einstein, David Beckham, JFK, John Lennon... I stop the exercise by saying the police have shown up, so the party is shut down.
Monday, February 21, 2011
English Episodes #9 - dramatic creations
I had my class write skits using social English phrases. The instructions were for them to be ridiculous and use as many of the phrases as possible, everything else was up to them. Voilà some of the results (taken from the actual manuscripts, errors intact):
Boss & New Employee
-Good morning Boss. How are you?
-I'm feeling bad because I drunk too much last night. How are you?
-I'm feeling so good today! I'm very happy to work with you! It's my first day! I'm so excited!
-Oh! Sorry. Can you speak more quietly please? I'm tired (sneeze).
-Bless you.
-Can I take a nap?
-Excuse me?
-No problems! It doesn't matter. Do anything you want to work. I'm gonna take a nap...
-What?
-I'm going back home, ok? See you tomorrow!
-Wahoo, he's very crazy!
Police Officer & Alice
-Good morning Madame.
-Silence please.
-What? Is time to get up! What's your name?
-Alice. Why?
-Are you drank Alice?
-No! (and after she take tequila bottle for drink and she say) Cheers!
-Go out of the car! Show me your drink! Is really a tequila?
-Yes is a tequila.
-Good I like it, cheers.
-Cheers.
-Give me you key! I want to drive your car.
-Ok we change our car. Nice to meet you. Goodbye.
-Bye.
Harry Potter at a party
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
-What's your name?
-I'm Hermione.
-Nice to meet you Hermione.
-What's your name?
-My name is Harry Potter. How old are you?
-I'm 15 years old and you?
-I'm 256 years old.
-It's 9 o'clock, it's the time to go to bed for you!
-Same to you!!! Have you seen my friend Hagrid?
-It's a joke, you are really from the movie? Achoo!
-Bless you.
-Thanks.
-I'm the real Harry Potter. You can know my robe, my glasses, my scarf. Would you like to dance with me? (*I started thinking at this point "will the real Slim Shady please stand up..." - BQ)
-No.
-Why?
-You are too old for me. I say you goodbye.
-See you tomorrow.
-No, see you never. Goodnight.
-I'm not lucky with the young girl.
Two students (named omitted to protect privacy)
-How are you?
-I'm terrible.
-Why? Do you have a cold?
-Yes, I have a cold. Achoo!
-Bless you. Oh, I saw you outside at 3:00 AM last night. What did you do last night?
-I went clubbing to the club.
-Did you met handsome guys? My friend said me you're very good dancer.
-Just kidding. I met many handsome guys. So, I was so happy. But, I fell down while I was dancing. So, I scraped my knee.
-Oh, yesterday was a terrible and happy day. Because, you met handsome guys and scraped your knee and caught a cold.
-Yes, I was so embarrassed. So I run outside and I fell down again.
-HAHAHAHA. You shouldn't go the club.
-I think so. I'm so tired.
-You'd better take a rest. Have a good weekend.
-Thanks. Same to you.
Two dudes... (names omitted).
-Good morning. I'm _______.
-Nice to meet you. ______.
-How are you?
-Fine thanks.
-Achoo!
-Bless you.
-Thanks.
-Excuse me.
-Yes, can I help you?
-Yes, I need a tissue.
-Of course!!!
-Thank you so much. Oh sorry! I'm sick because I had slept with your sister the last night. She was sick!!!
-Me too, don't worry!! (*He slept with his own sister or he slept with the other guy's sister? I decided not to probe too deeply here. - BQ)
-What did you do with my sister the last night?
-Nothing, nothing! We watched a movie in her bed!!!
-And then?...
-Only sleep, of course!!!
-Oh, you are my brother-in-law!
-No! Is a good friend only see her sometimes!! I have wife!
-What? I don't understand you!!! I heat you!
-Ok. Cheers for this!!!
-Cheers.
-I have a question.
-What?
-What was her name?
-Her name is Rosia Fred.
-Oh. She is Fred sister. She isn't my sister.
-Really? (*At this point "Fred" gets up and makes threatening moves towards them. Ah, drama!)
-Sorry, I go back at my house. Have a good weekend.
-Same to you.
-See you tomorrow.
-Bye! See you then!
I had each group do the skits twice so that we could listen for different things. When this last group was told to slow down, they did the first few exchanges in extreme slow motion. Complete hams...
Boss & New Employee
-Good morning Boss. How are you?
-I'm feeling bad because I drunk too much last night. How are you?
-I'm feeling so good today! I'm very happy to work with you! It's my first day! I'm so excited!
-Oh! Sorry. Can you speak more quietly please? I'm tired (sneeze).
-Bless you.
-Can I take a nap?
-Excuse me?
-No problems! It doesn't matter. Do anything you want to work. I'm gonna take a nap...
-What?
-I'm going back home, ok? See you tomorrow!
-Wahoo, he's very crazy!
Police Officer & Alice
-Good morning Madame.
-Silence please.
-What? Is time to get up! What's your name?
-Alice. Why?
-Are you drank Alice?
-No! (and after she take tequila bottle for drink and she say) Cheers!
-Go out of the car! Show me your drink! Is really a tequila?
-Yes is a tequila.
-Good I like it, cheers.
-Cheers.
-Give me you key! I want to drive your car.
-Ok we change our car. Nice to meet you. Goodbye.
-Bye.
Harry Potter at a party
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
-What's your name?
-I'm Hermione.
-Nice to meet you Hermione.
-What's your name?
-My name is Harry Potter. How old are you?
-I'm 15 years old and you?
-I'm 256 years old.
-It's 9 o'clock, it's the time to go to bed for you!
-Same to you!!! Have you seen my friend Hagrid?
-It's a joke, you are really from the movie? Achoo!
-Bless you.
-Thanks.
-I'm the real Harry Potter. You can know my robe, my glasses, my scarf. Would you like to dance with me? (*I started thinking at this point "will the real Slim Shady please stand up..." - BQ)
-No.
-Why?
-You are too old for me. I say you goodbye.
-See you tomorrow.
-No, see you never. Goodnight.
-I'm not lucky with the young girl.
Two students (named omitted to protect privacy)
-How are you?
-I'm terrible.
-Why? Do you have a cold?
-Yes, I have a cold. Achoo!
-Bless you. Oh, I saw you outside at 3:00 AM last night. What did you do last night?
-I went clubbing to the club.
-Did you met handsome guys? My friend said me you're very good dancer.
-Just kidding. I met many handsome guys. So, I was so happy. But, I fell down while I was dancing. So, I scraped my knee.
-Oh, yesterday was a terrible and happy day. Because, you met handsome guys and scraped your knee and caught a cold.
-Yes, I was so embarrassed. So I run outside and I fell down again.
-HAHAHAHA. You shouldn't go the club.
-I think so. I'm so tired.
-You'd better take a rest. Have a good weekend.
-Thanks. Same to you.
Two dudes... (names omitted).
-Good morning. I'm _______.
-Nice to meet you. ______.
-How are you?
-Fine thanks.
-Achoo!
-Bless you.
-Thanks.
-Excuse me.
-Yes, can I help you?
-Yes, I need a tissue.
-Of course!!!
-Thank you so much. Oh sorry! I'm sick because I had slept with your sister the last night. She was sick!!!
-Me too, don't worry!! (*He slept with his own sister or he slept with the other guy's sister? I decided not to probe too deeply here. - BQ)
-What did you do with my sister the last night?
-Nothing, nothing! We watched a movie in her bed!!!
-And then?...
-Only sleep, of course!!!
-Oh, you are my brother-in-law!
-No! Is a good friend only see her sometimes!! I have wife!
-What? I don't understand you!!! I heat you!
-Ok. Cheers for this!!!
-Cheers.
-I have a question.
-What?
-What was her name?
-Her name is Rosia Fred.
-Oh. She is Fred sister. She isn't my sister.
-Really? (*At this point "Fred" gets up and makes threatening moves towards them. Ah, drama!)
-Sorry, I go back at my house. Have a good weekend.
-Same to you.
-See you tomorrow.
-Bye! See you then!
I had each group do the skits twice so that we could listen for different things. When this last group was told to slow down, they did the first few exchanges in extreme slow motion. Complete hams...
Saturday, February 19, 2011
English Episodes #8 - Love is in the air
More from the archives of this past month in pre-intermediate English land. I feel like most of them are funny without any kind of context, so here we go (unless indicated otherwise, these are all student exchanges and comments):
"My neighbors are beautiful women."
Older people stink, are nosy, boring, lonely, kind and think young people are imprudent. Ah, the joys of stereotyping about the generation gap.
"Where is my hand?"
"In your pocket."
"I'm the most expensive in Korea. You?"
"Korea has many handsome men. Like me."
"What is die?"
"I show you."
"Are you spongy?"
"No, I am hard."
Listening to social English phrases, everyone yawns in unison repeating "Goodnight!" The voice that says the numbers sounds like the announcer for movie previews - it's pretty darn exciting.
I draw a shuttlecock (we're doing sports words) much to the class's derision. So another student comes and draws a better one. His is superior, though mine is still bigger (comparatives!).
"Your garden is your beard."
Pronunciation! I was observed by one of the big bosses and had them do activity with country names and nationalities. The ending exercise was finding stress patterns. Thus my boss and I are trying not to die laughing as we hear pairs saying things like: "I-tal-y" "i-TAL-y" "i-tal-Y" over and over and over again trying to decide where the stress falls. Incredible.
Working with a private very advanced student, something with an assassin came up. He decided this was an intern assassin working on his 10,000 hours to then make professional status.
"My neighbors are beautiful women."
Older people stink, are nosy, boring, lonely, kind and think young people are imprudent. Ah, the joys of stereotyping about the generation gap.
"Where is my hand?"
"In your pocket."
"I'm the most expensive in Korea. You?"
"Korea has many handsome men. Like me."
"What is die?"
"I show you."
"Are you spongy?"
"No, I am hard."
Listening to social English phrases, everyone yawns in unison repeating "Goodnight!" The voice that says the numbers sounds like the announcer for movie previews - it's pretty darn exciting.
I draw a shuttlecock (we're doing sports words) much to the class's derision. So another student comes and draws a better one. His is superior, though mine is still bigger (comparatives!).
"Your garden is your beard."
Pronunciation! I was observed by one of the big bosses and had them do activity with country names and nationalities. The ending exercise was finding stress patterns. Thus my boss and I are trying not to die laughing as we hear pairs saying things like: "I-tal-y" "i-TAL-y" "i-tal-Y" over and over and over again trying to decide where the stress falls. Incredible.
Working with a private very advanced student, something with an assassin came up. He decided this was an intern assassin working on his 10,000 hours to then make professional status.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
English updates #7
January saw us finishing the book and everyone taking a level test and PASSING! As of 25 Jan I now teach pre-intermediate (excited because got to stay with my class). But fear not, the hilarity ensues...
"Sometimes I am selfish in my girlfriend." Ummmm, ok...
Doing superlatives, we lined up according to who was the tallest/shortest, oldest/youngest, etc. I asked who was the most dangerous... and the class left me to stand all alone in that part of the room.
Going around to review names, I had students say the name of the person to their right. Our regular class clown is supposed to say mine but instead says, "I only remember pretty girls' names."
"Good thing I'm a woman then," I reply (which goes right over his head).
Cooking can be dangerous because of kitchen ninjas. I attacked them with my knife as I was modeling "chop" and then continued to cut up whatever it was that I was cutting. You know, kitchen ninjas, right? They attack all the time.
Acting out adverbs (adverbs are way fun to teach), I had 2 groups of students miming things like "Order coffee politely," "Play chess well," "Walk proudly." After they'd finished, the groups came up with some more for the other team to mime. We all stopped to watch one student who was acting out (did we but know!) "Ride a horse aggressively." His mime was a bit like doing the mashed potato as he pumped his fists in and out from his chest while galloping hard across the room. The best part was that no one could guess so he just kept doing it, over and over and over. We were all laughing so very hard. Use this the next time you play a miming game - it's a treat.
A colleague told us in the teacher's room that one of her students sleeps with tweezers every night. She can't fall asleep unless she has them in her hand. We speculated as to what the TSA would say (they were on the hazardous object list) and how exactly she started. Was it a conscious decision? Or a serious of odd events?
A jealous husband will search his wife's bag, check the numbers she calls on her phone, follow her, and otherwise try and control her. Be warned.
"When you don't eat you diet."
"Wife, it's a scary word."
"I use L'oreal for my hair." He has perhaps 1 inch worth of hair. But it is very shiny.
From a email written to make hotel reservation (on asking about bar services): "water I could find in the bathroom." Another student wanted to have a "sweet room." I had them write to make reservations as if they were rich and had an entourage as well.
"Sometimes I am selfish in my girlfriend." Ummmm, ok...
Doing superlatives, we lined up according to who was the tallest/shortest, oldest/youngest, etc. I asked who was the most dangerous... and the class left me to stand all alone in that part of the room.
Going around to review names, I had students say the name of the person to their right. Our regular class clown is supposed to say mine but instead says, "I only remember pretty girls' names."
"Good thing I'm a woman then," I reply (which goes right over his head).
Cooking can be dangerous because of kitchen ninjas. I attacked them with my knife as I was modeling "chop" and then continued to cut up whatever it was that I was cutting. You know, kitchen ninjas, right? They attack all the time.
Acting out adverbs (adverbs are way fun to teach), I had 2 groups of students miming things like "Order coffee politely," "Play chess well," "Walk proudly." After they'd finished, the groups came up with some more for the other team to mime. We all stopped to watch one student who was acting out (did we but know!) "Ride a horse aggressively." His mime was a bit like doing the mashed potato as he pumped his fists in and out from his chest while galloping hard across the room. The best part was that no one could guess so he just kept doing it, over and over and over. We were all laughing so very hard. Use this the next time you play a miming game - it's a treat.
A colleague told us in the teacher's room that one of her students sleeps with tweezers every night. She can't fall asleep unless she has them in her hand. We speculated as to what the TSA would say (they were on the hazardous object list) and how exactly she started. Was it a conscious decision? Or a serious of odd events?
A jealous husband will search his wife's bag, check the numbers she calls on her phone, follow her, and otherwise try and control her. Be warned.
"When you don't eat you diet."
"Wife, it's a scary word."
"I use L'oreal for my hair." He has perhaps 1 inch worth of hair. But it is very shiny.
From a email written to make hotel reservation (on asking about bar services): "water I could find in the bathroom." Another student wanted to have a "sweet room." I had them write to make reservations as if they were rich and had an entourage as well.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
English Episodes #6 - the revenge of stereotypes
Practicing adverbs is a great time to make sweeping statements about large groups of people! I gave my class a sheet with statements like: "They drive dangerously in ___________" and had them fill in the blanks, plus come up with some of their own. Here's a sampling of the results:
People speak English well in England.
The woman are beautifully in Sweden.
Weed is only for crime people.
All good things are difficult and expensive.
They drink vodka well in Russia.
They drive dangerously in India, Paris, Roma, Las Vegas, NY (not all one response).
They play soccer badly in Brazil.
People in Italian talk loudly.
They play soccer badly in Turkey.
People speak Spanish well in Spain.
They ride horse very well in Texas.
They play tennis badly in Russia.
People watch play soccer game well in England.
They people very loudly in China.
People walk fast in Tokyo.
Ah, sweet judgment.
People speak English well in England.
The woman are beautifully in Sweden.
Weed is only for crime people.
All good things are difficult and expensive.
They drink vodka well in Russia.
They drive dangerously in India, Paris, Roma, Las Vegas, NY (not all one response).
They play soccer badly in Brazil.
People in Italian talk loudly.
They play soccer badly in Turkey.
People speak Spanish well in Spain.
They ride horse very well in Texas.
They play tennis badly in Russia.
People watch play soccer game well in England.
They people very loudly in China.
People walk fast in Tokyo.
Ah, sweet judgment.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
More English! #5
The episodes continue:
The day after "You are very handsome. Joke!" the word "liar" came up. So what does the same student do to Max? Turn and say, "You are very handsome. I am a liar!"
A student made rice krispie treats for the class incorporating fruity pebbles to give them color and flair. They were delicious, but I still laughed at the idea of using fruity pebbles (perhaps my notion of American-style treats is a narrow one. Or maybe I was jealous I'd not thought of it first).
His response: "Don't laugh. It's my American experience."
In late December I started having students do 10 pushups if they come late to class after a break (by more than a minute). Today I had 2 different students do them at 2 different times. The dictatorship is benevolent, but it is still a dictatorship.
Taking my students on a scavenger hunt in Hayes Valley was a silly & fun time as they came up with categories of restaurants and stores, found out the prices of different items, and *gasp* had to talk with strangers to get directions to some of the locales. After walking over Alamo Square we then had lunch at Nopalito, one of my favorite restaurants (though it got mixed reviews from students due to spice factors). Once again, I had to watch out for Max attempting to order alcohol (I'm tolerant, but he's 18. No dice, son.) and got the waiter on my side early on. All the staff was super friendly and helpful explaining things. My favorite was when we went to order dessert - their mainstay are paletas, the ultimate popsicle. Unfortunately there were only 2 apple left, so 2 people of the 4 who had ordered them had to change. Given a choice between persimmon/lime/cream and chocolate, Max ordered orange. And was told again that they only had 2 flavors, but that this one was like orange. He ordered chocolate, even though encouraged to be adventurous.
The waiter's response (with headshake): "Max, I'm disappointed in you."
Amazing.
This week I've had 14 students - it's getting crowded in elementary English land. I told them yesterday that I have 7 boyfriends, one for every day of the week. One of the new students piped up - "6 is better. Sunday is for resting." We're going to get on fine.
The day after "You are very handsome. Joke!" the word "liar" came up. So what does the same student do to Max? Turn and say, "You are very handsome. I am a liar!"
A student made rice krispie treats for the class incorporating fruity pebbles to give them color and flair. They were delicious, but I still laughed at the idea of using fruity pebbles (perhaps my notion of American-style treats is a narrow one. Or maybe I was jealous I'd not thought of it first).
His response: "Don't laugh. It's my American experience."
In late December I started having students do 10 pushups if they come late to class after a break (by more than a minute). Today I had 2 different students do them at 2 different times. The dictatorship is benevolent, but it is still a dictatorship.
Taking my students on a scavenger hunt in Hayes Valley was a silly & fun time as they came up with categories of restaurants and stores, found out the prices of different items, and *gasp* had to talk with strangers to get directions to some of the locales. After walking over Alamo Square we then had lunch at Nopalito, one of my favorite restaurants (though it got mixed reviews from students due to spice factors). Once again, I had to watch out for Max attempting to order alcohol (I'm tolerant, but he's 18. No dice, son.) and got the waiter on my side early on. All the staff was super friendly and helpful explaining things. My favorite was when we went to order dessert - their mainstay are paletas, the ultimate popsicle. Unfortunately there were only 2 apple left, so 2 people of the 4 who had ordered them had to change. Given a choice between persimmon/lime/cream and chocolate, Max ordered orange. And was told again that they only had 2 flavors, but that this one was like orange. He ordered chocolate, even though encouraged to be adventurous.
The waiter's response (with headshake): "Max, I'm disappointed in you."
Amazing.
This week I've had 14 students - it's getting crowded in elementary English land. I told them yesterday that I have 7 boyfriends, one for every day of the week. One of the new students piped up - "6 is better. Sunday is for resting." We're going to get on fine.
Monday, December 27, 2010
December English learning part 2 (#4)
More from the classroom:
"You are mistake!"
"She went home by boat." (Not BART?)
From tests I graded:
"I went to sleep (or in American-French slang 'I put the meat in the blanket!!!')"
"She hates going to supermarkets (because she doesn't like eating vegetables)."
Student trying to justify his word choice: "It sounds good to me."
Me: "It doesn't sound good to me."
Fun with Max
The class decided that Max, our youngest class member, is rich. Over the course of a few days, it was decided that he was going to marry one of the Japanese women and move to Japan. Also that we were all going to his house in France on vacation. He said his house is Versailles, so plenty of room. I said something about how the beds are too small for me there. He disagreed and then everyone made fun of him for not knowing about his own house...
Me: "Some French men are charming."
Max: "For me it's not a problem."
Pronouncing cupboard, I drilled one student a few times early in the class. He then turned on Max when it was pronounced incorrectly and drilled him several times. "Cu-burd. Repeat!"
"We are family, no?" Max on why the whole class should come to my house for New Year's Eve even when I tell them I'm not going to be there... My roommates were amused. I have made sure my students don't know exactly where I live just in case.
Max asks the meaning of the word "joke" - I ask the class if anyone knows a joke so we can model the idea for him.
Student to Max: "You are very handsome. Joke."
I die laughing, have to turn my back on class to get my composure.
Max: "I am a joke?"
"You are mistake!"
"She went home by boat." (Not BART?)
From tests I graded:
"I went to sleep (or in American-French slang 'I put the meat in the blanket!!!')"
"She hates going to supermarkets (because she doesn't like eating vegetables)."
Student trying to justify his word choice: "It sounds good to me."
Me: "It doesn't sound good to me."
Fun with Max
The class decided that Max, our youngest class member, is rich. Over the course of a few days, it was decided that he was going to marry one of the Japanese women and move to Japan. Also that we were all going to his house in France on vacation. He said his house is Versailles, so plenty of room. I said something about how the beds are too small for me there. He disagreed and then everyone made fun of him for not knowing about his own house...
Me: "Some French men are charming."
Max: "For me it's not a problem."
Pronouncing cupboard, I drilled one student a few times early in the class. He then turned on Max when it was pronounced incorrectly and drilled him several times. "Cu-burd. Repeat!"
"We are family, no?" Max on why the whole class should come to my house for New Year's Eve even when I tell them I'm not going to be there... My roommates were amused. I have made sure my students don't know exactly where I live just in case.
Max asks the meaning of the word "joke" - I ask the class if anyone knows a joke so we can model the idea for him.
Student to Max: "You are very handsome. Joke."
I die laughing, have to turn my back on class to get my composure.
Max: "I am a joke?"
Thursday, December 23, 2010
December English learning (#3)
When I got back from my Thanksgiving break, I asked my elementary class how they did with the sub. They complained that he'd sat in the corner the whole time and wasn't very dynamic.
I asked, "Did you destroy the sub?"
Class (looking puzzled), "Destroy? What means?"
I then picked up a piece of paper, ripped it apart, threw the pieces on the ground and ground them under my heel, stomping for full effect. Finished, I looked up. "Destroy."
"Ah, yes. We understand."
This was perhaps in the first two minutes of class. There were three new students who I'd not met yet who had fear in their eyes - who is this crazy person that everyone else is so excited to see?
Other fun things overheard in class:
"I love excess velocity. The policeman doesn't understand my emotion," when riding a motorcycle.
"I had difficulty to get it up." Reason for being late to class... perhaps not the reason he wanted to give. I let that one go.
"I threaten him with saw. ... We put the body in the bucket." From activity using everyday objects to solve ridiculous problems (you're hosting a dinner party and find a body in the dining room you want to get rid of before letting guests in, for example).
I told my class that boys were things. The men weren't very impressed by this idea. Later, "why is it pick up girls and not girl?"
My response? "Because you have two arms. One for each!"
On asking my class for ways to murder someone (the unit was about mysteries and crime) they came up with a huge list, including:
-beat to death
-push someone off a tall building
-cut
-choke/strangle
-explode with a bomb
Have I mentioned this is a beginner/elementary level class? Incredible range.
I asked, "Did you destroy the sub?"
Class (looking puzzled), "Destroy? What means?"
I then picked up a piece of paper, ripped it apart, threw the pieces on the ground and ground them under my heel, stomping for full effect. Finished, I looked up. "Destroy."
"Ah, yes. We understand."
This was perhaps in the first two minutes of class. There were three new students who I'd not met yet who had fear in their eyes - who is this crazy person that everyone else is so excited to see?
Other fun things overheard in class:
"I love excess velocity. The policeman doesn't understand my emotion," when riding a motorcycle.
"I had difficulty to get it up." Reason for being late to class... perhaps not the reason he wanted to give. I let that one go.
"I threaten him with saw. ... We put the body in the bucket." From activity using everyday objects to solve ridiculous problems (you're hosting a dinner party and find a body in the dining room you want to get rid of before letting guests in, for example).
I told my class that boys were things. The men weren't very impressed by this idea. Later, "why is it pick up girls and not girl?"
My response? "Because you have two arms. One for each!"
On asking my class for ways to murder someone (the unit was about mysteries and crime) they came up with a huge list, including:
-beat to death
-push someone off a tall building
-cut
-choke/strangle
-explode with a bomb
Have I mentioned this is a beginner/elementary level class? Incredible range.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
English fun! Week 2
(Beginner level)
After talking about verbs of routine (get up, brush teeth, go to work, etc) I had students write out a typical day for different people from student to bank manager to president. My favorite though was the rock star. Here are some of my favorite lines:
"puts on rock star clothes"
"finishes concert and goes to dinner with your friends" (presumably you don't go, not being cool enough)
And after going to the club, dancing with the girls and going home with one, at 8 a.m. "protects himself from the paparazzi" while leaving her house. I was surprised it was only one girl, but my students said they were trying to do a truly typical day.
Fair point.
I made my class sing along to "Pretty Woman" and perhaps did some goofy dancing.
Student: "Is that Indiana dancing?"
"No. But if you don't sing, I'll dance more!"
Unsurprisingly there was more singing after that point.
The Japanese don't dance, my 2 Japanese students inform me.
"What about Dance Dance Revolution?"
"I play that with the controller."
Other students were understandably shocked.
I'm going to try and figure out a way to scan and post some original writing; stay tuned.
After talking about verbs of routine (get up, brush teeth, go to work, etc) I had students write out a typical day for different people from student to bank manager to president. My favorite though was the rock star. Here are some of my favorite lines:
"puts on rock star clothes"
"finishes concert and goes to dinner with your friends" (presumably you don't go, not being cool enough)
And after going to the club, dancing with the girls and going home with one, at 8 a.m. "protects himself from the paparazzi" while leaving her house. I was surprised it was only one girl, but my students said they were trying to do a truly typical day.
Fair point.
I made my class sing along to "Pretty Woman" and perhaps did some goofy dancing.
Student: "Is that Indiana dancing?"
"No. But if you don't sing, I'll dance more!"
Unsurprisingly there was more singing after that point.
The Japanese don't dance, my 2 Japanese students inform me.
"What about Dance Dance Revolution?"
"I play that with the controller."
Other students were understandably shocked.
I'm going to try and figure out a way to scan and post some original writing; stay tuned.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
English updates
From the classroom this week (beginning level English):
Americans sell drugs in the supermarket. They also have walking coffee. (Just wait, Starbucks will bring this out next year, coffee that follows you).
I, Bethany, am a caveman since I don't have a TV, iPhone, and use a paper planner. How backwards!
From a fellow teacher: "Imagine a world of awkwardness."
Me: "I'm in England! I'm in England!"
Oddly enough, the Brit in the room laughed while an American made an offended face.
Laura Croft and Napoleon would be a good match because they both like guns. Cleopatra and Harry Potter because she likes younger men. (This comes from a speed dating role play they did where everyone was some character/historical figure. Barbie, Snow White, and Batman also took part.)
Two students went to the Castro yesterday and saw a naked man.
Me: "He was naked?"
Student 1 (pause): "Well, he was wearing boots."
Student 2: "And a backpack."
Me: "So not completely naked."
Student 1: "Well no. But we're from conservative country. You don't see things like that."
Thank goodness for the gays.
Americans sell drugs in the supermarket. They also have walking coffee. (Just wait, Starbucks will bring this out next year, coffee that follows you).
I, Bethany, am a caveman since I don't have a TV, iPhone, and use a paper planner. How backwards!
From a fellow teacher: "Imagine a world of awkwardness."
Me: "I'm in England! I'm in England!"
Oddly enough, the Brit in the room laughed while an American made an offended face.
Laura Croft and Napoleon would be a good match because they both like guns. Cleopatra and Harry Potter because she likes younger men. (This comes from a speed dating role play they did where everyone was some character/historical figure. Barbie, Snow White, and Batman also took part.)
Two students went to the Castro yesterday and saw a naked man.
Me: "He was naked?"
Student 1 (pause): "Well, he was wearing boots."
Student 2: "And a backpack."
Me: "So not completely naked."
Student 1: "Well no. But we're from conservative country. You don't see things like that."
Thank goodness for the gays.
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