December English learning part 2 (#4)

More from the classroom:

"You are mistake!"

"She went home by boat." (Not BART?)

From tests I graded:
"I went to sleep (or in American-French slang 'I put the meat in the blanket!!!')"
"She hates going to supermarkets (because she doesn't like eating vegetables)."

Student trying to justify his word choice: "It sounds good to me."
Me: "It doesn't sound good to me."

Fun with Max
The class decided that Max, our youngest class member, is rich. Over the course of a few days, it was decided that he was going to marry one of the Japanese women and move to Japan. Also that we were all going to his house in France on vacation. He said his house is Versailles, so plenty of room. I said something about how the beds are too small for me there. He disagreed and then everyone made fun of him for not knowing about his own house...

Me: "Some French men are charming."
Max: "For me it's not a problem."

Pronouncing cupboard, I drilled one student a few times early in the class. He then turned on Max when it was pronounced incorrectly and drilled him several times. "Cu-burd. Repeat!"

"We are family, no?" Max on why the whole class should come to my house for New Year's Eve even when I tell them I'm not going to be there... My roommates were amused. I have made sure my students don't know exactly where I live just in case.

Max asks the meaning of the word "joke" - I ask the class if anyone knows a joke so we can model the idea for him.
Student to Max: "You are very handsome. Joke."
I die laughing, have to turn my back on class to get my composure.
Max: "I am a joke?"

December English learning (#3)

When I got back from my Thanksgiving break, I asked my elementary class how they did with the sub. They complained that he'd sat in the corner the whole time and wasn't very dynamic.
I asked, "Did you destroy the sub?"
Class (looking puzzled), "Destroy? What means?"
I then picked up a piece of paper, ripped it apart, threw the pieces on the ground and ground them under my heel, stomping for full effect. Finished, I looked up. "Destroy."
"Ah, yes. We understand."
This was perhaps in the first two minutes of class. There were three new students who I'd not met yet who had fear in their eyes - who is this crazy person that everyone else is so excited to see?

Other fun things overheard in class:
"I love excess velocity. The policeman doesn't understand my emotion," when riding a motorcycle.

"I had difficulty to get it up." Reason for being late to class... perhaps not the reason he wanted to give. I let that one go.

"I threaten him with saw. ... We put the body in the bucket." From activity using everyday objects to solve ridiculous problems (you're hosting a dinner party and find a body in the dining room you want to get rid of before letting guests in, for example).

I told my class that boys were things. The men weren't very impressed by this idea. Later, "why is it pick up girls and not girl?"
My response? "Because you have two arms. One for each!"

On asking my class for ways to murder someone (the unit was about mysteries and crime) they came up with a huge list, including:
-beat to death
-push someone off a tall building
-cut
-choke/strangle
-explode with a bomb

Have I mentioned this is a beginner/elementary level class? Incredible range.

English fun! Week 2

(Beginner level)

After talking about verbs of routine (get up, brush teeth, go to work, etc) I had students write out a typical day for different people from student to bank manager to president. My favorite though was the rock star. Here are some of my favorite lines:
"puts on rock star clothes"
"finishes concert and goes to dinner with your friends" (presumably you don't go, not being cool enough)
And after going to the club, dancing with the girls and going home with one, at 8 a.m. "protects himself from the paparazzi" while leaving her house. I was surprised it was only one girl, but my students said they were trying to do a truly typical day.
Fair point.

I made my class sing along to "Pretty Woman" and perhaps did some goofy dancing.
Student: "Is that Indiana dancing?"
"No. But if you don't sing, I'll dance more!"
Unsurprisingly there was more singing after that point.

The Japanese don't dance, my 2 Japanese students inform me.
"What about Dance Dance Revolution?"
"I play that with the controller."
Other students were understandably shocked.

I'm going to try and figure out a way to scan and post some original writing; stay tuned.