December English learning (#3)

When I got back from my Thanksgiving break, I asked my elementary class how they did with the sub. They complained that he'd sat in the corner the whole time and wasn't very dynamic.
I asked, "Did you destroy the sub?"
Class (looking puzzled), "Destroy? What means?"
I then picked up a piece of paper, ripped it apart, threw the pieces on the ground and ground them under my heel, stomping for full effect. Finished, I looked up. "Destroy."
"Ah, yes. We understand."
This was perhaps in the first two minutes of class. There were three new students who I'd not met yet who had fear in their eyes - who is this crazy person that everyone else is so excited to see?

Other fun things overheard in class:
"I love excess velocity. The policeman doesn't understand my emotion," when riding a motorcycle.

"I had difficulty to get it up." Reason for being late to class... perhaps not the reason he wanted to give. I let that one go.

"I threaten him with saw. ... We put the body in the bucket." From activity using everyday objects to solve ridiculous problems (you're hosting a dinner party and find a body in the dining room you want to get rid of before letting guests in, for example).

I told my class that boys were things. The men weren't very impressed by this idea. Later, "why is it pick up girls and not girl?"
My response? "Because you have two arms. One for each!"

On asking my class for ways to murder someone (the unit was about mysteries and crime) they came up with a huge list, including:
-beat to death
-push someone off a tall building
-cut
-choke/strangle
-explode with a bomb

Have I mentioned this is a beginner/elementary level class? Incredible range.