December English learning (#3)

When I got back from my Thanksgiving break, I asked my elementary class how they did with the sub. They complained that he'd sat in the corner the whole time and wasn't very dynamic.
I asked, "Did you destroy the sub?"
Class (looking puzzled), "Destroy? What means?"
I then picked up a piece of paper, ripped it apart, threw the pieces on the ground and ground them under my heel, stomping for full effect. Finished, I looked up. "Destroy."
"Ah, yes. We understand."
This was perhaps in the first two minutes of class. There were three new students who I'd not met yet who had fear in their eyes - who is this crazy person that everyone else is so excited to see?

Other fun things overheard in class:
"I love excess velocity. The policeman doesn't understand my emotion," when riding a motorcycle.

"I had difficulty to get it up." Reason for being late to class... perhaps not the reason he wanted to give. I let that one go.

"I threaten him with saw. ... We put the body in the bucket." From activity using everyday objects to solve ridiculous problems (you're hosting a dinner party and find a body in the dining room you want to get rid of before letting guests in, for example).

I told my class that boys were things. The men weren't very impressed by this idea. Later, "why is it pick up girls and not girl?"
My response? "Because you have two arms. One for each!"

On asking my class for ways to murder someone (the unit was about mysteries and crime) they came up with a huge list, including:
-beat to death
-push someone off a tall building
-cut
-choke/strangle
-explode with a bomb

Have I mentioned this is a beginner/elementary level class? Incredible range.

English fun! Week 2

(Beginner level)

After talking about verbs of routine (get up, brush teeth, go to work, etc) I had students write out a typical day for different people from student to bank manager to president. My favorite though was the rock star. Here are some of my favorite lines:
"puts on rock star clothes"
"finishes concert and goes to dinner with your friends" (presumably you don't go, not being cool enough)
And after going to the club, dancing with the girls and going home with one, at 8 a.m. "protects himself from the paparazzi" while leaving her house. I was surprised it was only one girl, but my students said they were trying to do a truly typical day.
Fair point.

I made my class sing along to "Pretty Woman" and perhaps did some goofy dancing.
Student: "Is that Indiana dancing?"
"No. But if you don't sing, I'll dance more!"
Unsurprisingly there was more singing after that point.

The Japanese don't dance, my 2 Japanese students inform me.
"What about Dance Dance Revolution?"
"I play that with the controller."
Other students were understandably shocked.

I'm going to try and figure out a way to scan and post some original writing; stay tuned.

Giving thanks

As many of you know, I love love love coming home to Indiana for Thanksgiving cavorting with the Qualls clan. This year was no exception, though we were thinner on the ground than normal for the actual day.

Perhaps it's having hordes of people to bake for. I got back to the Bloomington homestead 2:30 on Weds after swinging by the grocery store and went into full pie baking mode. The last two came out of the oven (with the help of the lovely Sarah E, also in town for feasting with family) before midnight. 6 pies of various types - not a bad day's work. The cabinet in the garage where these things are staged was full with Kenny, Chuck, Nancy, and my efforts. Delicious efforts at that. Uncle Bill stayed in New Zealand (we missed him and aunt Linda so much!) so I recruited Mark to carve with me. The first turkey was a tender, insane mess and literally fell apart whenever we touched it. Each chopping up though. The smoked one (gracias Knapowskis) was a bit more solid; luckily we'd practiced our moves a bit.

The cousins continue to amuse as they get older; I love how the house is filled with card and game playing, scrabble, mille bornes, even bridge. The running amok within the confines of the house (the rain didn't make me want to leave at all though), the evening singing around the piano, the fact that people show up and we might not even know who they are but welcome them in anyway... and then discreetly figure out who they know in the house.

Last night I got talked into making chocolate chip cookies. And then had everyone watch Scott Pilgrim Vs the World. Hilarity ensued, though last gathering's watching of the Riff Trax Twilight perhaps will never be repeatable. In short, I love seeing folks, baking, and chat chat chatting the week away. What a wonderful time. I'll stop gushing now.

But how excellent it is to have so much to be thankful for, especially after such a rough summer/early fall. Life is gorgeous. For reals.

English updates

From the classroom this week (beginning level English):

Americans sell drugs in the supermarket. They also have walking coffee. (Just wait, Starbucks will bring this out next year, coffee that follows you).

I, Bethany, am a caveman since I don't have a TV, iPhone, and use a paper planner. How backwards!

From a fellow teacher: "Imagine a world of awkwardness."
Me: "I'm in England! I'm in England!"
Oddly enough, the Brit in the room laughed while an American made an offended face.

Laura Croft and Napoleon would be a good match because they both like guns. Cleopatra and Harry Potter because she likes younger men. (This comes from a speed dating role play they did where everyone was some character/historical figure. Barbie, Snow White, and Batman also took part.)

Two students went to the Castro yesterday and saw a naked man.
Me: "He was naked?"
Student 1 (pause): "Well, he was wearing boots."
Student 2: "And a backpack."
Me: "So not completely naked."
Student 1: "Well no. But we're from conservative country. You don't see things like that."
Thank goodness for the gays.