English updates #7

January saw us finishing the book and everyone taking a level test and PASSING! As of 25 Jan I now teach pre-intermediate (excited because got to stay with my class). But fear not, the hilarity ensues...

"Sometimes I am selfish in my girlfriend." Ummmm, ok...

Doing superlatives, we lined up according to who was the tallest/shortest, oldest/youngest, etc. I asked who was the most dangerous... and the class left me to stand all alone in that part of the room.

Going around to review names, I had students say the name of the person to their right. Our regular class clown is supposed to say mine but instead says, "I only remember pretty girls' names."
"Good thing I'm a woman then," I reply (which goes right over his head).

Cooking can be dangerous because of kitchen ninjas. I attacked them with my knife as I was modeling "chop" and then continued to cut up whatever it was that I was cutting. You know, kitchen ninjas, right? They attack all the time.

Acting out adverbs (adverbs are way fun to teach), I had 2 groups of students miming things like "Order coffee politely," "Play chess well," "Walk proudly." After they'd finished, the groups came up with some more for the other team to mime. We all stopped to watch one student who was acting out (did we but know!) "Ride a horse aggressively." His mime was a bit like doing the mashed potato as he pumped his fists in and out from his chest while galloping hard across the room. The best part was that no one could guess so he just kept doing it, over and over and over. We were all laughing so very hard. Use this the next time you play a miming game - it's a treat.

A colleague told us in the teacher's room that one of her students sleeps with tweezers every night. She can't fall asleep unless she has them in her hand. We speculated as to what the TSA would say (they were on the hazardous object list) and how exactly she started. Was it a conscious decision? Or a serious of odd events?

A jealous husband will search his wife's bag, check the numbers she calls on her phone, follow her, and otherwise try and control her. Be warned.

"When you don't eat you diet."

"Wife, it's a scary word."

"I use L'oreal for my hair." He has perhaps 1 inch worth of hair. But it is very shiny.

From a email written to make hotel reservation (on asking about bar services): "water I could find in the bathroom." Another student wanted to have a "sweet room." I had them write to make reservations as if they were rich and had an entourage as well.