More from the archives of this past month in pre-intermediate English land. I feel like most of them are funny without any kind of context, so here we go (unless indicated otherwise, these are all student exchanges and comments):
"My neighbors are beautiful women."
Older people stink, are nosy, boring, lonely, kind and think young people are imprudent. Ah, the joys of stereotyping about the generation gap.
"Where is my hand?"
"In your pocket."
"I'm the most expensive in Korea. You?"
"Korea has many handsome men. Like me."
"What is die?"
"I show you."
"Are you spongy?"
"No, I am hard."
Listening to social English phrases, everyone yawns in unison repeating "Goodnight!" The voice that says the numbers sounds like the announcer for movie previews - it's pretty darn exciting.
I draw a shuttlecock (we're doing sports words) much to the class's derision. So another student comes and draws a better one. His is superior, though mine is still bigger (comparatives!).
"Your garden is your beard."
Pronunciation! I was observed by one of the big bosses and had them do activity with country names and nationalities. The ending exercise was finding stress patterns. Thus my boss and I are trying not to die laughing as we hear pairs saying things like: "I-tal-y" "i-TAL-y" "i-tal-Y" over and over and over again trying to decide where the stress falls. Incredible.
Working with a private very advanced student, something with an assassin came up. He decided this was an intern assassin working on his 10,000 hours to then make professional status.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
English updates #7
January saw us finishing the book and everyone taking a level test and PASSING! As of 25 Jan I now teach pre-intermediate (excited because got to stay with my class). But fear not, the hilarity ensues...
"Sometimes I am selfish in my girlfriend." Ummmm, ok...
Doing superlatives, we lined up according to who was the tallest/shortest, oldest/youngest, etc. I asked who was the most dangerous... and the class left me to stand all alone in that part of the room.
Going around to review names, I had students say the name of the person to their right. Our regular class clown is supposed to say mine but instead says, "I only remember pretty girls' names."
"Good thing I'm a woman then," I reply (which goes right over his head).
Cooking can be dangerous because of kitchen ninjas. I attacked them with my knife as I was modeling "chop" and then continued to cut up whatever it was that I was cutting. You know, kitchen ninjas, right? They attack all the time.
Acting out adverbs (adverbs are way fun to teach), I had 2 groups of students miming things like "Order coffee politely," "Play chess well," "Walk proudly." After they'd finished, the groups came up with some more for the other team to mime. We all stopped to watch one student who was acting out (did we but know!) "Ride a horse aggressively." His mime was a bit like doing the mashed potato as he pumped his fists in and out from his chest while galloping hard across the room. The best part was that no one could guess so he just kept doing it, over and over and over. We were all laughing so very hard. Use this the next time you play a miming game - it's a treat.
A colleague told us in the teacher's room that one of her students sleeps with tweezers every night. She can't fall asleep unless she has them in her hand. We speculated as to what the TSA would say (they were on the hazardous object list) and how exactly she started. Was it a conscious decision? Or a serious of odd events?
A jealous husband will search his wife's bag, check the numbers she calls on her phone, follow her, and otherwise try and control her. Be warned.
"When you don't eat you diet."
"Wife, it's a scary word."
"I use L'oreal for my hair." He has perhaps 1 inch worth of hair. But it is very shiny.
From a email written to make hotel reservation (on asking about bar services): "water I could find in the bathroom." Another student wanted to have a "sweet room." I had them write to make reservations as if they were rich and had an entourage as well.
"Sometimes I am selfish in my girlfriend." Ummmm, ok...
Doing superlatives, we lined up according to who was the tallest/shortest, oldest/youngest, etc. I asked who was the most dangerous... and the class left me to stand all alone in that part of the room.
Going around to review names, I had students say the name of the person to their right. Our regular class clown is supposed to say mine but instead says, "I only remember pretty girls' names."
"Good thing I'm a woman then," I reply (which goes right over his head).
Cooking can be dangerous because of kitchen ninjas. I attacked them with my knife as I was modeling "chop" and then continued to cut up whatever it was that I was cutting. You know, kitchen ninjas, right? They attack all the time.
Acting out adverbs (adverbs are way fun to teach), I had 2 groups of students miming things like "Order coffee politely," "Play chess well," "Walk proudly." After they'd finished, the groups came up with some more for the other team to mime. We all stopped to watch one student who was acting out (did we but know!) "Ride a horse aggressively." His mime was a bit like doing the mashed potato as he pumped his fists in and out from his chest while galloping hard across the room. The best part was that no one could guess so he just kept doing it, over and over and over. We were all laughing so very hard. Use this the next time you play a miming game - it's a treat.
A colleague told us in the teacher's room that one of her students sleeps with tweezers every night. She can't fall asleep unless she has them in her hand. We speculated as to what the TSA would say (they were on the hazardous object list) and how exactly she started. Was it a conscious decision? Or a serious of odd events?
A jealous husband will search his wife's bag, check the numbers she calls on her phone, follow her, and otherwise try and control her. Be warned.
"When you don't eat you diet."
"Wife, it's a scary word."
"I use L'oreal for my hair." He has perhaps 1 inch worth of hair. But it is very shiny.
From a email written to make hotel reservation (on asking about bar services): "water I could find in the bathroom." Another student wanted to have a "sweet room." I had them write to make reservations as if they were rich and had an entourage as well.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
English Episodes #6 - the revenge of stereotypes
Practicing adverbs is a great time to make sweeping statements about large groups of people! I gave my class a sheet with statements like: "They drive dangerously in ___________" and had them fill in the blanks, plus come up with some of their own. Here's a sampling of the results:
People speak English well in England.
The woman are beautifully in Sweden.
Weed is only for crime people.
All good things are difficult and expensive.
They drink vodka well in Russia.
They drive dangerously in India, Paris, Roma, Las Vegas, NY (not all one response).
They play soccer badly in Brazil.
People in Italian talk loudly.
They play soccer badly in Turkey.
People speak Spanish well in Spain.
They ride horse very well in Texas.
They play tennis badly in Russia.
People watch play soccer game well in England.
They people very loudly in China.
People walk fast in Tokyo.
Ah, sweet judgment.
People speak English well in England.
The woman are beautifully in Sweden.
Weed is only for crime people.
All good things are difficult and expensive.
They drink vodka well in Russia.
They drive dangerously in India, Paris, Roma, Las Vegas, NY (not all one response).
They play soccer badly in Brazil.
People in Italian talk loudly.
They play soccer badly in Turkey.
People speak Spanish well in Spain.
They ride horse very well in Texas.
They play tennis badly in Russia.
People watch play soccer game well in England.
They people very loudly in China.
People walk fast in Tokyo.
Ah, sweet judgment.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Holiday times & Happy New Year!
Ah, 2011, we thought you would never get here... After my 23 solid working days in December, the holidays because a lovely time to just relax and laze about. The plan to get a Christmas tree never quite materialized and trying to buy one after 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve, well, didn't work out either. So went and helped Sarah do stuff with fish and ice at her restaurant, then out to eat the traditional Indian food of Christmas Eve at our favorite place on Fulton. Delicious as always! I decorated the aloe plant with festive garland and ornaments, so we did have some holiday cheer in the living room (and a place to put presents!).
Christmas Day involved lots of sleep, hanging out with books, and me not leaving the house. A delicious lasagna was constructed with things like marscapone, butternut squash, kale, mushrooms, and a ton of white sauce. Super delicious. Good to take a break from the hustle and bustle. Spending time down in Monterey the following week was even more relaxing - I love hotels and feeling decadent. Also extreme lounging, then going to see a fabulous aquarium with everything from otters (and tons of puns about them) to jellyfish to seahorse exhibit. Plus the hordes of school-aged kids - that felt incredible for different reasons. I still love just looking at the ocean. Huzzah water! And learning!
Happy New Year to all - here's to having it be a better and fuller one that 2010! I hope you're enjoying the English Updates, I'll try to sprinkle some of my other doings here and there as I once again work on having more regular posts! A goal for the next month for sure. Sasha (new roomie) has been talking about having small, weekly goals instead of overarching ones for the year. I like this idea.
Christmas Day involved lots of sleep, hanging out with books, and me not leaving the house. A delicious lasagna was constructed with things like marscapone, butternut squash, kale, mushrooms, and a ton of white sauce. Super delicious. Good to take a break from the hustle and bustle. Spending time down in Monterey the following week was even more relaxing - I love hotels and feeling decadent. Also extreme lounging, then going to see a fabulous aquarium with everything from otters (and tons of puns about them) to jellyfish to seahorse exhibit. Plus the hordes of school-aged kids - that felt incredible for different reasons. I still love just looking at the ocean. Huzzah water! And learning!
Happy New Year to all - here's to having it be a better and fuller one that 2010! I hope you're enjoying the English Updates, I'll try to sprinkle some of my other doings here and there as I once again work on having more regular posts! A goal for the next month for sure. Sasha (new roomie) has been talking about having small, weekly goals instead of overarching ones for the year. I like this idea.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
